Posted in Emotional Eating, Fitness, Food, Menu Planning, Overeating, Self-Reflection, Weight Watchers

I’m eating the damn salad.

wp-1503509607481Before I joined Weight Watchers, I made this week’s menu — breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks–all mapped out. Well, then Tuesday rolled around and suddenly my plan sucks. I was so frustrated.

First of all, Little Elfkin is eating like mad–she must be heading for a growth spurt because I was about to dig into my breakfast when her cherubic voice inquired “Mama? More egg? Please?”

“Yes, Baby, you can have more egg…”

So, I tracked one egg, one tortilla for breakfast–and it was 5 points–not bad! But by the time I got to work, I was hungry again. I stopped at the gas station and picked up what I thought was a healthy alternative–a turkey sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich and a couple of espressos. Well, no 2nd breakfast for this Hobbit! That breakfast sandwich would’ve been 11 points, which would’ve put me at 16 points, then the espressos were another 6, so just in BREAKFAST I would’ve used up 22/40 points (or 55%) of my daily budget on one meal. *fizzle*

I skipped the breakfast sandwich! Go me!

1st break rolls around and I. Am. Starving. I had 2 espressos and a cup of coffee to try to stave off the hangry but noon couldn’t come soon enough! I had a cheese stick (1 point) and that held me over until noon.

YES! I CAN EAT! HALLELUJAH!

I’d packed a yummy yummy Dole Chopped Salad kit in Sunflower Crunch flavor. It has a sweet onion dressing and a little bit of bacon, so it’s yum yum delicious.

And 22 points for the whole bag. T^T It would’ve been 27, but that number was too scary so I only counted 5 cups instead of 6 1/2 which is more likely…

SERIOUSLY, WW?! SERIOUSLY?!

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I portioned out half the bag and contented myself with the 13 points that it would be. I ate slowly. I was mindful of the flavors in each bite. I drank water and tried to stay in tune with my appetite.

There’s no WAY this is going to be enough food.

And then I stopped. I freaked out a little, but I let my food settle. I let my mind stop racing ahead and just… sat here. Honestly, I started typing this entry out and that’s what really gave me time enough to say “you know what? Maybe it IS enough food.”

So, here I am, 1/3 salad on my plate and I’m full.

Maybe I can do this. Maybe I can finally lose weight.

I need to go for a walk. If you made it this far, I appreciate your listening to my rant. So to speak 😉

Posted in College, Emotional Eating, Fitness, Food, Life + Living, Overeating

Wipers up, snow down

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I said this morning that wipers up means snow will be coming down.  It started early afternoon, and never really let up…

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The roads were icy, visibility was reduced… And I had to go to school for class tonight.

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Yeah. Good luck getting anywhere.

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You know what, though? I got there, checked my voicemail, and heard a message saying class was canceled.

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Some days are only good for building snowmen and going to bed early.

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Tonight I’m wearing my warrior shirt to bed. Kind of need a reminder to eat better tomorrow and stop getting so frustrated with work.  I ranted at a friend* at work today about all of my frustrations and it just made me want to cry.  Then, I rushed off to school where I was scheduled for an exam…I was feeling crappy, so what did I have for dinner? A chicken taquito, a corndog, a bag of chips, a handful of dark chocolate, and about half a cup of gelato.  Did it feel good at the time? Absolutely. Does it feel good now? Nope. Can I take it back? Nope! Time to move on.

Tomorrow I’ll be well rested, and I’ll make sure to have healthy snacks with me.

Have a good night!

Posted in Uncategorized

Profound revelation

Jeff was running late today and muttering about how he didn’t leave himself enough time to make a lunch.  Like a whirling wizard, I whipped up a lunch that included fruits, veggies, carbs, and protein (ham and cheese sandwich with lettuce, grape tomatoes, crackers with laughing cow cheese, and fruit cups).

Me: Why can I always find time to make a lunch for you, but not for me?
Jeff: Because you love me!
Me: … 

Now, he was just being cute, but it was rather profound.  Does my lack of enthusiasm for making my own lunches mean that I don’t love me?  😦  

I’m up to 237.  I can’t, can’t, can’t hit 240.  Not again.  Never again. So I really need to figure out this funk and get out of it so that I can get going back in the right direction.  I started by making myself a lunch… with lettuce, ham, and tomato.  I’ve got crackers and fruit cups for snacks, and I know I’ve got broccoli at work to munch on.