Posted in Emotional Eating, Food, Life + Living

Do your best

I’m a good Christian man!

I kind of stopped listening after that because this “good Christian man” had spent the last 20 minutes yelling and swearing at me because he didn’t like the terms of the contract that he signed with my company.

And now I’m going to have to pray for forgiveness for swearing at you!

Because it’s my fault, right?

Ugh. Talking to this guy had my heart rate up at 86 BPM while sitting at my desk. I’m proud of myself, though, because I did not lash out at him, nor did I take the verbal assault personally. He asked what I was going to do and I told him that I was going to continue to service his account and do my best to help him in any way that I could. When he asked why,¬†I told him it’s because “that’s the way my momma raised me.”

wpid-wp-1434713592354.gif

With an air of authority, he told me that he does his best every day because Colossians 3:23 says: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”

*sigh*

Well, Mr. Christian… I told him that I’d made myself vulnerable by reaching out to him with the information that he needed to make an informed decision for his business and that I did so because I, too, am a good person and I’m trying to do my best. I let him know in no uncertain terms that I was not obligated to be yelled at or sworn at or criticized, but I did so because I wanted him to have the information needed, and be able to ask questions if he had them. He apologized, I forgave him, then I went for a walk.

I’m down 3.4 lbs this week and I’m not going to ruin it by going to “comfort foods,” because the adrenaline makes me feel icky. Walking for 25 minutes helped me work up a good sweat, and now I can vent here and get back to work.

 

Posted in Emotional Eating, Fitness, Food, Menu Planning, Overeating, Self-Reflection, Weight Watchers

I’m eating the damn salad.

wp-1503509607481Before I joined Weight Watchers, I made this week’s menu — breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks–all mapped out. Well, then Tuesday rolled around and suddenly my plan sucks. I was so frustrated.

First of all, Little Elfkin is eating like mad–she must be heading for a growth spurt because I was about to dig into my breakfast when her cherubic voice inquired “Mama? More egg? Please?”

“Yes, Baby, you can have more egg…”

So, I tracked one egg, one tortilla for breakfast–and it was 5 points–not bad! But by the time I got to work, I was hungry again. I stopped at the gas station and picked up what I thought was a healthy alternative–a turkey sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich and a couple of espressos. Well, no 2nd breakfast for this Hobbit! That breakfast sandwich would’ve been 11 points, which would’ve put me at 16 points, then the espressos were another 6, so just in BREAKFAST I would’ve used up 22/40 points (or 55%) of my daily budget on one meal. *fizzle*

I skipped the breakfast sandwich! Go me!

1st break rolls around and I. Am. Starving. I had 2 espressos and a cup of coffee to try to stave off the hangry but noon couldn’t come soon enough! I had a cheese stick (1 point) and that held me over until noon.

YES! I CAN EAT! HALLELUJAH!

I’d packed a yummy yummy Dole Chopped Salad kit in Sunflower Crunch flavor. It has a sweet onion dressing and a little bit of bacon, so it’s yum yum delicious.

And 22 points for the whole bag. T^T It would’ve been 27, but that number was too scary so I only counted 5 cups instead of 6 1/2 which is more likely…

SERIOUSLY, WW?! SERIOUSLY?!

Screenshot_20170823-123219

I portioned out half the bag and contented myself with the 13 points that it would be. I ate slowly. I was mindful of the flavors in each bite. I drank water and tried to stay in tune with my appetite.

There’s no WAY this is going to be enough food.

And then I stopped. I freaked out a little, but I let my food settle. I let my mind stop racing ahead and just… sat here. Honestly, I started typing this entry out and that’s what really gave me time enough to say “you know what? Maybe it IS enough food.”

So, here I am, 1/3 salad on my plate and I’m full.

Maybe I can do this. Maybe I can finally lose weight.

I need to go for a walk. If you made it this far, I appreciate your listening to my rant. So to speak ūüėČ

Posted in Life + Living, Self-Reflection, Uncategorized, Wedding Planning

Back rant [edited]

You know those exercises you’re supposed to do to get rid of your muffin top? “Trunk twisters” I think they’re called.¬† Yeah. I can’t do them. My back hurts so badly that I can’t even WIPE properly… And maybe that’s TMI for the internet, but when I have to pop my shoulder in an effort to clean up, well, I guess I’d rather vent top the anonymous crowd that is “the internet” than actually confess this problem to anyone I really know.

My mid/upper back hurts like I got half way through cracking it and never finished. It’s like the pieces aren’t aligned properly and the weight of me is TRYING to force them into place but they just won’t go.¬† Getting out of bed was an accomplishment. Breathing is another. Getting dressed will be a feat. And driving myself to the chiropractor in pot hole season… Well gee, I’m so looking forward to THAT.

I wish this were fixed already. I’m so very tired of mornings like this. I’m afraid that they might last forever. On a smaller scale, I’m afraid I’ll have a day like this on my wedding day. And I’ll have to pop pain killers just to smile.

[edit]: I got an adjustment and feel loads better already. I even brushed my hair and put lip gloss on…booyah.

image

Posted in College, Gaming

The cure to indecision? Procrastination.

This post contains a couple of swear words. ¬†Fair Warning ūüôā

So, (there I go again), I am in dire need of studying because I found out today that there’s an assignment due on Thursday but I hadn’t actually received my “textbooks” until this afternoon. ¬†I am torn between studying and gaming, though, and so I find myself here: procrastinating.

I was so fuming mad this afternoon dealing with the fiasco that is MCTC. ¬†Jeff was going to pick up the books for me as he has more flexibility in his schedule, but when I called to verify stock, they were outrageous. ¬†They refused to check to see if the books were there and said they were too busy and that there was a line inside the store and outside the store and we would just have to come down there. ¬†They wouldn’t even say whether we could pay with AMEX or not. ¬†I went on a tirade about getting what you pay for (because this is one of the cheapest schools in the area) and then ended up just going to the bookstore myself.

The “line” that they exaggerated and made out to be miles long was just about 10 people. ¬†And the only reason that there was a line was to check book bags. ¬†Waste. Of. Time. ¬†So after I get through that line, I pull my “books” from the stacks, sure that I am missing something, because what is labeled as a book is actually a ream of paper wrapped in kitchen-grade saran wrap. ¬†Looks like it’s got the POTENTIAL to be a book, but it’s just not quite there yet. ¬†Kind of like this college and how it’s just on the cusp of being great but just falls short and ends up being mediocre. ¬†I waited in line for the check-out while a huffy student in front of me threw fits about waiting in line (for 20 minutes) to buy a 70 cent bag of chips.

When I got to the check out, the woman was probably having a good day and I probably wrecked it. ūüė¶ I wanted to know where the binding was. ¬†She replied that most people were buying their own binders and kindly directed me to the back of the store to pick one out. ¬†I replied that after paying over a thousand dollars in tuition and over one hundred and sixty dollars for the book the least of my expectations is that it be bound and said “Can’t you do anything about that?” She smirked (which toppled my negative attitude from veiled contempt for outright disgust) and said “nope.” ¬†So, naturally I mocked her, she responded with a highly impressive level of sarcasm and we went our separate ways. ¬†Truth be told, I think our skill levels were quite equal when it comes to being bitchy when the situation calls for it. ¬†I’m being ripped off by a rigged institution (can’t buy the book used or resell it due to this lack of binding and because of an access code that’s required) so I was bitchy, and she was bitchy because it wasn’t her fault at all. ¬†I was sincerely impressed with her level of sarcasm because if I weren’t so well versed in it, it would appear to be great customer service. ¬†Plus 5 to her.

Plus 5 to me, too, though.  Refusing to spend one red cent more than necessary at the college library, I headed over to the nearest office supply store.  Staples was able to cleanly bind my book into two parts Рseparating the case studies from the actual text will come in handy over the course of the semester.  I got two books bound and bought two notebooks for eight bucks.

At this point, I find it prudent to begin my studies… if only so I can go back to playing Guild Wars 2. ¬†Here’s a bonus screen shot of Harkin and Aminarra at a vista in Rata Sum: