Posted in Emotional Eating, Fitness, Life + Living, Self-Reflection, Strength Training

Bootstraps – pick yourself up by them

“Spend your lazy, endless crazy days, inside my head,
You’re so selfish, you’re not the only one who thinks he’s dead
I’m paid to smile, now I’m on trial for what you think I said
But I never said that everything would be ok,
And I never said that we would live to see another day..yeah..yeah..”

Sometimes a song comes along and it’s just *that* good at describing what’s going on that you listen to it every time you need to drag your arse out of bed. For me, that song is the Motivation Proclamation (aptly named) by Good Charlotte.

“Motivate me, I wanna get myself out of this bed,
Captivate me, I want good thoughts inside of my head,
If I fall down would you come around and pick me right up off the ground?”

I just realized I’ve been going to that song for over a decade when it’s dark outside and my hair is greasy and I’d rather call in “sick” to work than move a muscle (like today). It’s 27 degrees (F) and I was honestly considering asking if I could just work from home for 1/2 a day–the first half–so I could stay inside just a bit longer before getting cold. I abhor being cold. The song has got me out of bed this morning, but now I’m cozied up in my bathrobe. If Jeff hadn’t handed me a smoothie I probably wouldn’t even be thinking about breakfast yet.

“I’m realistic and narcissistic,
You say I’m selfish and absurd
You try to change me, you try to save me
You say I’m gonna learn, I’m so blind,
I’m out of time, You’re so unkind sometimes,
I never lied, I never lied, I never lied
Cuz I never said that everything would be ok,
and I never said that we would live to see another day..yeah..yeah..”

Originally he wasn’t going to make me a smoothie. My response when he inquired if I wanted one was decidedly neutral. But then I confessed that it’s the “right” choice and that I hardly ever make those and I’m not going to lose weight if I don’t.

He didn’t reply, but he handed me my smoothie, brushed my dirty hair away from my face with a caress and gave me a big hug.

“Motivate me, I wanna get myself out of this bed,
Captivate me, I want good thoughts inside of my head,
If I fall down would you come around and pick me right up off the ground? [x2]

(Right up off the ground.. Pick me right up off the ground.. Yeah..Oh)

Yeah, ‘Cause everything, it’ll be ok,
You know we’re gonna live to see another day,
Yeah…yeah…yeah…yeah…
Motivate me…yeah,
(I wanna get myself outta this)
Motivate me…yeah
(I wanna get myself outta this)
Motivate me…yeah
(I wanna get myself outta this)
Motivate me…yeah
(I wanna get myself outta this bed!)”

So with the combined powers of a song I’ve been rocking since high school, and an amazingly supportive man, I’m off to take a shower. And use a blow-dryer for my hair. And then I’m going to go face my day. I might even make it to work on time. I set my goals for the day:

1) Complete driver surveys
2) take my math test at work
3) exercise after work

Posted in Life + Living, Self-Reflection

Feelings, nothing but feelings tryin’ to forget my feelings of hate

Though it isn’t picture perfect,
You know that we’re worth it
You know that we’re worth it
Could you love me?
Even with my dark side?

– Kelly Clarkson – Dark Side

Every now and again I go through phases where I find it difficult to just be happy with life.  It’s weird, in a way, because I know that I have lots of things to be thankful for — two furballs that bring endless cuddles and purrs, a big furball who loves me unconditionally (Jeff), a lovely home in a great neighborhood, enough money to pay my bills.  I go over this list and many other things on the list every time I am in what we call a “funk” to try to get some perspective and slap a smile on my face.

I’m not deep in a funk right now–I’m pulling myself out of one and I think I might have my toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand, life is good today.  Life is good today. Um–Excuse me, Zac Brown Band, I was going somewhere with this..

Anyway.  As I was saying.  I’m on the tail end of a funk and I’m realizing that my environment tends to reflect my moods and one of the easiest ways to clean up my mood is to clean up my apartment.  In a moment of rebellion the other night, we decided to just cuddle up in front of the TV sans pants.  Well, those pants are still on the floor in the living room.  The cat has drug out a number of different objects of laundry in his training to be a cat burglar, and I am currently eating cereal out of my  smallest mixing bowl because all of my cereal bowls are waiting sadly in the kitchen for some attention.

The good news this time around is that it didn’t get as bad as it can, and it’s going away faster.  My eating didn’t (really) fall off track and if anything I’ve INCREASED the number of workouts that I’m getting.  I could go on and include some pictures for this entry, but alas, it’s time for me to go and I simply cannot be late today.

Have you ever been in a funk?  What’s your favorite way to get chipper?