Posted in Uncategorized

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.  – Maori Proverb

As is the norm for me these days, I got the news via Facebook.  My friend Kayla lashed out in anger and confusion

Kayla Marie - Google Chrome_2012-12-15_19-17-06Senseless shootings?  What?  It was like deja vu.  Facebook was telling me about senseless murders committed for unknown reasons.  The thing that really broke my heart, though, was that it was children.  Kids who don’t even know who they are.  They haven’t been around long enough to hurt anyone and yet they were taken out in an act of senseless violence.

The leader at the place where I work just moved here from Connecticut.  They lived not ten minutes from where this happened, and they left countless comrades back home.  We, as a business, are waiting to hear how many of our colleagues are impacted by this tragedy.   But last night was also our holiday party.  We were there with our co-workers, friends, family.  It was supposed to be a night of revelry and celebration.  So our leader, having only seen us a few times, offered words of comfort.  They lifted the burden of guilt from our shoulders to say that we will remember, and we will wait for more news tomorrow, but for tonight it is okay to have fun.  I nearly cried.  I didn’t realize how badly I needed to hear that… How dare I attempt to enjoy myself when the nation is mourning?  When I got home, I tried to tell myself that it was not okay to mourn because they weren’t my friends, family, or neighbors.  But my heart ached, and Jeff could see it so he wrapped his arms around me and I cried into his shoulder as if they were my friends, my neighbors, my family.  It is such a senseless loss and my heart breaks for it.

I don’t want to remember the shooter. I don’t want to delve into the how’s or why’s.  Instead, I would rather remember those who were lost.  I would rather support those who survived.  I would rather dwell on positives than be torn apart by negatives.  “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall away behind you.”

One of my friends on Facebook posted a plea to join them in sending support to Sandy Hook Elementary School.  I am going to participate in this call to action.  If you would like to join me, please send your good thoughts, wishes, cards, drawings, notes, or flowers to:

Sandy Hook Elementary School
12 Dickenson Drive
Sandy Hook, CT 06482

I dedicate this post to the fallen:

CHILDREN
Charlotte Bacon, 6
Daniel Barden, 7
Olivia Engel, 6
Josephine Gay, 7
Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 6
Dylan Hockley, 6
Madeleine F. Hsu, 6
Catherine V. Hubbard, 6
Chase Kowalski, 7
Jesse Lewis, 6
James Mattioli, 6
Grace McDonnell, 7
Emilie Parker, 6
Jack Pinto, 6
Noah Pozner, 6
Caroline Previdi, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6
Avielle Richman, 6
Benjamin Wheeler, 6
Allison N. Wyatt, 6

ADULTS
Mary Sherlach, 56
Victoria Soto, 27
Anne Marie Murphy, 52
Lauren Rousseau, 30
Dawn Hochsprung, 47
Rachel Davino, 29

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Posted in Counseling

Nope, still in a slump

“Settle down it’ll all be clear. Don’t pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear. Trouble it might drag you down, if you get lost you can always be found. Just know you’re not alone, ’cause I’m gonna make this place your home…”

I’m working on it. ❤

Posted in Life + Living

Hope for Roy – Please reblog

I’m usually driving the chase car.  For a majority of my life, I’ve been around motorcycles and bikers.  I would beg and cajole my dad to take me for rides around the block, and (before laws became more strict, or maybe he just didn’t follow them) he would sit me on his lap right by the tank of his Goldwing and take me for a ride.  I remember when I was finally big enough to reach the pegs and we went for our first ride that actually had some distance–there was ice cream involved.

Fast forward to adult-hood and I’ve been an active supporter of Motorcycle Rights.  I’ve lobbied at the state capitol, met with senators and congressmen to urge them to increase penalties for failure-to-yield the right of way/careless driving.  It’s not right that a person who knocks down a stop-sign has the same penalties as a person who hits and seriously injures or kills a pedestrian, cyclist, or motorcyclist.

It is in this vein, then, that I ask for your help.  I am not asking you to lobby, I’m bringing the reality home.  A friend of a friend, Roy Rennhack, recently passed away due to injuries sustained in an accident caused by a failure to yield the right of way.

Rothschild Police Sergeant Kevin Ostrowski confirmed the crash happened at about 7:10 p.m. According to the preliminary investigation, Roy Rennhack, 26, was driving on Highway 51 at the intersection of Imperial Avenue when a pickup truck driven by a 17-year-old turned left in front of the motorcycle. Rennhack was taken to Aspirus Wausau Hospital with critical injuries, authorities said.

Police said Rennhack was wearing a helmet. No citations have been issued and the crash remains under investigation.

Roy was air-lifted to a nearby trauma center where he remained in critical condition.  He was admitted to the intensive care unit, and stayed in a medically-induced coma in an attempt to help him heal.  He lost the fight, though, and passed away on October 15th.

There are two ways that you can help the Rennhack family, and friends of Roy, cope with this tragedy–this senseless loss.  If you are of the generous type, please donate to Hope for Roy.  The family will be buried under medical bills for a long time to come.  It’s enough of a tragedy to lose the one you love, but the hardship is compounded when the rest of your life may be lost under medical debt.

If you are the generous type, but cannot afford to donate at this time, that’s okay, too.  Please re-blog this post, please share the news with your friends and family.  Perhaps it will be read by someone with the ability and the generosity to make a dent in the medical bills.

Please also share this as a reminder to all to pay attention when you are driving.  A motorcycle is smaller than other vehicles and so it’s easy to misjudge the speed or distance.  Always look twice, and wait it out.  Make sure you know what a motorcyclist is doing before you do what you’re doing.  Share the road. Like they always say, it’s better to show up late than never–the only difference that waiting a few seconds is going to make is that it can avoid an accident, and everyone can get to where they’re going safely.

Posted in Life + Living, Self-Reflection

Feelings, nothing but feelings tryin’ to forget my feelings of hate

Though it isn’t picture perfect,
You know that we’re worth it
You know that we’re worth it
Could you love me?
Even with my dark side?

– Kelly Clarkson – Dark Side

Every now and again I go through phases where I find it difficult to just be happy with life.  It’s weird, in a way, because I know that I have lots of things to be thankful for — two furballs that bring endless cuddles and purrs, a big furball who loves me unconditionally (Jeff), a lovely home in a great neighborhood, enough money to pay my bills.  I go over this list and many other things on the list every time I am in what we call a “funk” to try to get some perspective and slap a smile on my face.

I’m not deep in a funk right now–I’m pulling myself out of one and I think I might have my toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand, life is good today.  Life is good today. Um–Excuse me, Zac Brown Band, I was going somewhere with this..

Anyway.  As I was saying.  I’m on the tail end of a funk and I’m realizing that my environment tends to reflect my moods and one of the easiest ways to clean up my mood is to clean up my apartment.  In a moment of rebellion the other night, we decided to just cuddle up in front of the TV sans pants.  Well, those pants are still on the floor in the living room.  The cat has drug out a number of different objects of laundry in his training to be a cat burglar, and I am currently eating cereal out of my  smallest mixing bowl because all of my cereal bowls are waiting sadly in the kitchen for some attention.

The good news this time around is that it didn’t get as bad as it can, and it’s going away faster.  My eating didn’t (really) fall off track and if anything I’ve INCREASED the number of workouts that I’m getting.  I could go on and include some pictures for this entry, but alas, it’s time for me to go and I simply cannot be late today.

Have you ever been in a funk?  What’s your favorite way to get chipper?