Posted in Emotional Eating, Fitness, Food, Menu Planning, Overeating, Self-Reflection, Weight Watchers

I’m eating the damn salad.

wp-1503509607481Before I joined Weight Watchers, I made this week’s menu — breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks–all mapped out. Well, then Tuesday rolled around and suddenly my plan sucks. I was so frustrated.

First of all, Little Elfkin is eating like mad–she must be heading for a growth spurt because I was about to dig into my breakfast when her cherubic voice inquired “Mama? More egg? Please?”

“Yes, Baby, you can have more egg…”

So, I tracked one egg, one tortilla for breakfast–and it was 5 points–not bad! But by the time I got to work, I was hungry again. I stopped at the gas station and picked up what I thought was a healthy alternative–a turkey sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich and a couple of espressos. Well, no 2nd breakfast for this Hobbit! That breakfast sandwich would’ve been 11 points, which would’ve put me at 16 points, then the espressos were another 6, so just in BREAKFAST I would’ve used up 22/40 points (or 55%) of my daily budget on one meal. *fizzle*

I skipped the breakfast sandwich! Go me!

1st break rolls around and I. Am. Starving. I had 2 espressos and a cup of coffee to try to stave off the hangry but noon couldn’t come soon enough! I had a cheese stick (1 point) and that held me over until noon.

YES! I CAN EAT! HALLELUJAH!

I’d packed a yummy yummy Dole Chopped Salad kit in Sunflower Crunch flavor. It has a sweet onion dressing and a little bit of bacon, so it’s yum yum delicious.

And 22 points for the whole bag. T^T It would’ve been 27, but that number was too scary so I only counted 5 cups instead of 6 1/2 which is more likely…

SERIOUSLY, WW?! SERIOUSLY?!

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I portioned out half the bag and contented myself with the 13 points that it would be. I ate slowly. I was mindful of the flavors in each bite. I drank water and tried to stay in tune with my appetite.

There’s no WAY this is going to be enough food.

And then I stopped. I freaked out a little, but I let my food settle. I let my mind stop racing ahead and just… sat here. Honestly, I started typing this entry out and that’s what really gave me time enough to say “you know what? Maybe it IS enough food.”

So, here I am, 1/3 salad on my plate and I’m full.

Maybe I can do this. Maybe I can finally lose weight.

I need to go for a walk. If you made it this far, I appreciate your listening to my rant. So to speak 😉

Posted in Food, Menu Planning

A quick reflection on menu planning

In talking to a friend tonight I realised that,  not only had I not blogged in a while,  but I hadn’t planned a menu in a while either.  We’ve been experimenting, in my house,  with buying meat in bulk but buying produce daily. This has added up to an empty fridge,  frozen meat, and an increase in reliance on fast and processed foods. I think this is because our time always seems pressed during the week.  We’re rushing to work,  rushing to get Little Elfkin from day care,  rushing to get home to feed her, making sure to nourish her mind and her body with story time,  play time, bath time, and bed. Honestly,  by the time she conks out, I’m ready to pass out too! I’m cutting into my sleep time to make this menu and reflect: menu planning would be so much easier if you didn’t also have to make the grocery list, buy the ingredients, and actually cook. 

I’m going to try to find time for:

  • Swirly Crustless Quiche 
  • Pumpkin pancakes
  • Grain free porridge
  • Salmon
  • Mustard glazed chicken thighs
  • Zucchini pancakes
  • Buffalo chicken lettuce wraps
  • Sweet potato and apple soup
  • Sage roasted turkey legs
  • Spaghetti squash bolognese
  • Bacon wrapped smoky chicken
  • Sausage and pepper stew
  • Turkey meatballs and squash

Now,  this is a ton of food, so I will disclaim this: not all of it will be made,  but what is made will be eaten and not wasted. For me,  menu planning is mostly a suggestion,  not a concrete agreement. 

What’s on your menu? Do you have a go-to meal plan?

Posted in Baby Girl, Fitness

True Gamers Don’t Quit They Respawn

I haven’t written an entry since FEBRUARY!  I know you all believe it because I go through fits and spurts of blogging and doing really well with a set schedule and then just fall away without warning.  Well, here I am for the latest spurt of fitness blogging!  Little Elfkin is 9 months old now and *so* adventurous.  She loves her Mama and Daddy but she also wants to explore any and everything in her little world.  She has been helping pull weeds, enjoys the swingset at the park, and has boundless energy.  She isn’t quite independently mobile yet, but when she is, you can bet that we’ll be on our toes.  She’s my inspiration for getting fit again.  She’s been my excuse, but now that she’s gotten so much bigger, I know that I really need to focus on getting stronger so that the day I set her down and never pick her back up again is as far away as possible.  Ahem!  I’m not crying, you’re crying! Moving on.. Little Elfkin in an Avengers Dress Playing with a Paper Fan While Sitting in Grass

I’m going to be following NerdFitness guidelines for mindset, nutrition, and quests, but I have group classes available to me at work too.  I went to bootcamp on Monday and only made it through about half the class before getting completely winded, sore, and super-duper sweaty.  I said I’d be back on Tuesday for the next group class, but here it’s Friday and I haven’t gotten away from my desk for any amount of time that matters.  I’m so *busy* that I just don’t feel like there’s time to go.  I got stuck in meetings over the time that the group class was offered, but then I didn’t make up for it after-the-fact either.  Instead, I went to a happy hour with my colleagues where I ate chips and drank beer.

Clear Blue Skies Over a Grassy Field With Bootcamp Stations Set Up and Participants Ready

I need to revisit the mindset module to document the Big Why in an official format, and I need to figure out what my first challenge is going to encompass.  I cannot just hit the ground running and expect to be where I was back in 2012 by next week.  3 words: Not gonna happen.  There are changes I can make though, that will make a huge difference in my health and wellness, so I need to explore what changes I can make NOW that will help lead me towards the end-game.

Coming up on Saturday–The Weigh In and the Big Why.

Posted in Baby Girl, Challenge, Fitness, Food, Life + Living, Strength Training

Sit tight, Baby Girl, it’s not time yet.

The following is a stream of consciousness about the upcoming arrival of our Baby Girl, and the possibility that it might just be time to start working from home until she gets here. See the rest of the content after the jump!

Continue reading “Sit tight, Baby Girl, it’s not time yet.”

Posted in Challenge, Fitness, Home DIY, Life + Living, Strength Training

Body Image + NFR 6WC Challenge 7/27-9/7

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If you’re seeing this on facebook, you’re not getting the full story.  Click the link to read more. Continue reading “Body Image + NFR 6WC Challenge 7/27-9/7”

Posted in Food, Life + Living, New Food

CSA Day: Mario Edition

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Today’s CSA included Mario turnips! Hahaha! What better to do than to reenact some classic veggie-throwing Mario goodness?

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Also included were:
– Beets
– Kale
– Romaine
– String Beans
– Broccoli
– Peas
– Turnips
– Multi Grain Bread

We’re heading to Costco right now to pick up some protein to go with all this veggie goodness. We’re going to pick up some frozen fruit, too, and start having smoothies in the morning.

I’m thinking of sending messages to my sister and her hubby to get a good recipe for borscht, and I might get a little daring and put cheese over the broccoli…

If you have ideas on how to eat these great veggies, leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Posted in Fitness, Food

29 Weeks and feeling fine :)

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29 Weeks 1 Day

I’m reading The Martian in my spare time, and it inspires me to say that I’ve reached ‘critical mass.’ I’m officially at a point in my pregnancy that:

1. I’ve knocked stuff over because I misjudged the space I take up
2. My baby bump has surpassed my boobs 😛
3. If I stand up straight, I can’t see my feet…but I can confirm their presence if I just lean a bit 😉

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Hyperbole and a Half

Baby Girl is doing well, from what I can tell, and we’re starting in on the time where I’ll get a checkup every two weeks for a little while.

In other health and fitness news, today’s adventure is a mixed bag. I have The Blerch back on my desk reminding me to make healthy choices. To that end, I’m back to using my standing station. It’s great, but I need to get used to it again.
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I’m in good company, though. I relocated in the office to a row where 3 other people are also using standing stations, so I’m inspired to use it more.

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Lunch isn’t perfect, but it’s delicious and has way more vegetables, both in the salad and the egg rolls, than I would’ve had if I had gotten my usual turkey burger and fries. I’ll count it as a win.

In terms of non-physical health, I’m concerned about the widespread computer glitches this morning, but this blog isn’t the pace to get into it.

Woosah, and carry on.

Posted in Challenge, Fitness, Food, Life + Living, Self-Reflection

End of a Chapter

I burned a bridge last night. This morning, I’m not happy about it, but I’m also not going to ever be the one to start rebuilding it. Because of the interconnectivity of the bridge I burnt with other friendship bridges, another one collapsed, and a couple more are smoldering.

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This metaphor isn’t going to last the whole way through this blog entry. Basically, there are a few things that have been, and probably always will be true about me:

1. As a water sign, I’m ruled by emotion.
2. I will drop even good friends like a hot coal if I’m burned. I’d rather have a select few true friends than a plethora of fair weather friends.
3. I call it like I see it.

These three added up yesterday and it ended up spelling the end of an era. Before I was “MegsFitness” on WordPress, I was MegsFitness on SparkPeople.

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Through Spark, I really got started in caring about my health, wellness, and fitness. I met a great group of like minded people there and we banded together as the Weight Loss Warriors.

With this group of inspiring women, I ran my first 5k. I completed the warrior dash. I started addressing my hang ups about food. And I realized that I didn’t have to wait until I was skinny to be happy.

There are a few success stories that sprang from that group. Women who set their mind and their money towards achieving their fitness goals and making it their sole mission in life. There are others who made family more of a priority. Others who focused on career first. It was a safe zone where we could, and did, talk about all of these facets of our lives.

And then there’s me.

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One of the success stories posted her own personal opinion to her own personal timeline yesterday. But it was so far from the ideals that we had held as warriors that I was appalled. With open eyes today, I see that it’s possible that she just may not have explained herself clearly. The fact of the matter, though, is that she had friends trying to explain on her behalf and not only did she not disagree, but she voted her agreement with the handy dandy ‘like’ button. The message that I was getting loud and clear was that if you’re still fat, it’s your own fault, and you should be ashamed of yourself.  There were caveats and qualifications–she’s not talking about people with a medical condition, or people who are currently in progress of losing weight–she’s only talking about people who are unhappy with their weight and refuse to do anything about it. Well, okay, but how can you tell whether someone has given up by LOOKING at them? That was the question that went unanswered the whole night. The article that was shared in order to illustrate this woman’s disgust was a blog on HuffPo about a woman’s realization that it’s more important for her to be making memories with her son than to constantly be ashamed of her body. Perhaps the unintended message on the WLWs part is that motherhood is no excuse for being fat. This was CERTAINLY the message this woman’s friends were touting.

Here’s the offending paragraph from Huffington Post:

“I vowed to myself, there in that kitschy water park, that I won’t ever sit on the sidelines again. I won’t deny a pool date because I don’t want to wear my bathing suit. I won’t skip the ice cream with my son when he begs me to eat one with him. I won’t enter calories on my phone. I will wear my bathing suit. And I will do it and remember you, the mom at the water park today — and the role model I must be for all my girls.”

And here is just some of the vitriolic response from someone who was supposed to understand:

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I went off on her. I called her out for being judgemental of a person based on looks. For not understanding that developing healthy relationships with family are more important than weight loss–but what I should’ve said is that they’re more important than burdening the next generation with the same self consciousness and shame that we had to overcome. Having one ice cream sandwich with your child on a hot summer day does not mean you’ve given up on fitness. I daresay it means you have a healthier relationship with food than someone who is constantly scrutinizing every morsel and tracking every calorie. That’s disordered eating, and it’s not healthy in the long run.

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But this blog isn’t about that discussion again. It’s about burning bridges. Of course the natural action from me was to unfriend this person and stop following their fitness page. The angry part of me also called her friends a  douche-canoe and a bitch, respectively.

Then I took it to the Weight Loss Warriors. I asked if we could have a vote on kicking her out. After all, this group was always saying how it’s safe to go to the gym because no one is judging you–and here this member of our ranks was obviously judging everyone who didn’t drop the weight like she did. I expected discussion, even agreement! But I was wrong, and that’s why a second bridge collapsed and even more are smoldering.

Some agreed with me and actually booted the member in question outright. Some completely disagreed with me. One even left the group in a rush of wtf. They wanted to keep the group whole and invite everyone back to talk, but the damage was already done for me.  I’m not going to associate with someone who says that motherhood is an excuse and deems that you’ve given up soley based on the fact that you don’t say no to a summer treat and you’re still overweight.

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I’m sad, this morning, about how it played out, and that I felt compelled to leave the group myself. They were such a huge part of my fitness journey and really making it into a lifestyle change. The good news is that I have the like-minded folks as friends on my page, and I still have the Nerd Fitness Academy behind me. I’ll be alright.

Posted in Fitness, Life + Living

Legend of the Triceratops

Hello, blogosphere.

I was thinking back to the days when I used to blog all the time and I realized what was different –

– I didn’t have *much* of a social life

– I went out and did things to pass the time (biking, exercising, sight-seeing in the city, drawing)

– I wrote about the mundane happenings in my life in a ‘dear diary’ format. (now I do that on Facebook)

The cool thing about those days is that I actually connected with people on a more personal level and made genuine friends writing about life.

The down side is that my family didn’t really appreciate me writing about *their* lives in *my* journal—they wanted their privacy, after all.

Now that I’m an adult, and I’ve had things about my life spread through the family grapevine without my permission in the past, I kinda *get* that feeling.  Don’t tell a story that’s not yours to tell.

Unfortunately, that leaves me in a little bit of a writing rut.  There’s not much that I *do* any more, not that I feel worthy of blogging about.

I suppose this is my attempt to change that.  I’m going to go back to the dear-diary format, except that I’m going to respect the wishes of my family and friends.  That means you’ll see mundane stuff here, but I’m also going to write about my experiences that might resonate with you.

Entry 1: Legend of the Triceratops

So getting back on the fitness bandwagon, I’ve been more active in the Nerd Fitness Academy Facebook community.  The women in that group are inspiring at every level of fitness and it really motivates me to keep up.  It’s not unusual to see someone’s progress pictures put up and then to see a whole slew of comments reflecting on where the changes are observable to the third party.  They’re all positive.

When someone asks ‘what is it about this community that makes us so judgment free and welcoming?’ the resounding reply is that people are still judgy, but they check their attitude at the proverbial door.  ‘Not here,’ is the general consensus. I think that’s great, because little by little, I think it helps the women in our group to become less judgmental overall.  If you have enough practice putting your snark in check, eventually it becomes second nature.

Well, then someone who didn’t get the memo to check the snark at the door decided to comment on someone else’s progress photos. They weren’t outright attacking the person, but they were not exactly appreciative of the person’s decision to post progress pics in their undies.  Such remarks were made as “women shouldn’t lift,” and “have some class.” It wasn’t fair, and I think it stung a fair few of us to read her scathing retort.  It blew up, not because those two comments are wholly against the NF way of life, but because this person only had something to say when a woman who was not already fit decided to share her progress.

Another Rebel stepped in, though, and delivered one of the best rebuttals I’d ever read.

“WOMEN should do whatever the [expletive removed] they want to do, be it body building, bikini competitions, ballet, yoga, or anything else they want.  WOMEN should be proud of the body they have regardless of if it “looks like a mans” or looks like a [expletive removed] triceratops.

…Here, we love.  Each other, ourselves, the good, the bad, the big, the little, the round, the sharp, the muscle, the fat… We don’t judge, we don’t criticize, even if we don’t understand or believe the same as someone else, there is nothing but love.  I will tolerate ABSOLUTELY nothing besides love and respect in this group.  Join us or leave us.” – Ginny Mason

Since that post, the women of the Academy have been sending “Rawrs” of appreciation to each other, buying merchandise to support the cause thanks to a little pop-up shop that another Rebel made, and generally making better decisions because we’re all thinking “what would a triceratops do?”

It’s even permeated my home life and ‘being a triceratops’ is what me and Jeff have been using as words of encouragement for each other.

Jeff: I’m not doing too well

Jeff: [Explanation]

Me: Can you be a Triceratops?

I mean, like, screw what other people think, because you’re freaking awesome.

I know [detailed related to explanation]

You’ve done great things with your life, and you’re doing so much more.  You need to tell yourself that you’re a [expletive] Triceratops and trample anyone who says otherwise.

Another time, we were supposed to go to the store, but I had been wearing shorts around the house, even though I hadn’t shaved in about a week or so 😛 I told him that I’d need to change first and he said “No you don’t! Triceratops don’t care what other people think!”

LOL

It was absurd but so encouraging anyway.  Under guise of being a Triceratops, I’ve avoided some sweets, gone on more walks, and made it down to the gym more often than I probably would’ve without that fire.

It seems to be tapering down a little bit in the Academy, but I’m going to make a post later today about how I’m a Triceratops for going to the gym when I *really* didn’t want to.  RAWR, they’ll all say, and I’ll puff up my chest and nod in agreement—RAWR indeed.