Facebook Hiatus – Taking a Break From Social Media

I finally did it.  I acted on the idea that has been swirling in the back of my mind for more than a month now.  I changed my profile picture, my cover photos, and my settings… and I quit facebook.  For 30 days.  You can probably imagine why I would feel the need to take a break from Facebook.  You might even be reading this blog from your phone, from a place where the world is absolutely carrying on around you.  Or, you could be in the bathroom.  Can’t you be alone with your thoughts for even five minutes?

That’s the critique I gave myself, because I am on my phone, specifically on Facebook, CONSTANTLY.  Quite literally (not figuratively), I check my phone first thing in the morning before I get out of bed.  I’m not afraid to say that I bring my phone into the bathroom with me.  Everyone does it.  I check Facebook on the computer before I leave for work.  I check it again as I’m in my car, before I even pull out of the stall.  I check it after I park at work, just looking for something new that I might have missed.  I check it during the work day–it’s almost constantly in the background.  I check it in my car before I drive home from work, again in the parking spot at home, and then I migrate to my computer–and Jeff is on his–then we stare at our electronic devices in bed, then we kiss and fall asleep.

And why?  There is figuratively nothing worth looking at on my social media feed.  Good vs. evil, what state you should live in, what your vernacular says about you–and Buzzfeed! Gods, Buzzfeed.  What a time suck.

What am I missing?  Well, I don’t know–because it’s been this way for about a year or so.  I’m missing spending QUALITY time with my husband, I know that for sure.  I’m missing out on rich interactions with my friends because we’ve ‘interacted’ enough via facebook already that day.  The depth of my relationships is getting shallower and shallower.

Aside from relationships, I’m also losing out on productivity at work.  Do you think I can focus very well with Facebook taunting me in the backround?  3 new notifications! I must click them before I finish writing this e-mail.  Oops, I hear footsteps, better alt+tab.

I’m missing out on nature.  I try not to, but inevitably I’ll scroll through facebook while I’m out for a walk.  Someone honked at me while I was out for a walk the other day and I assumed it was some jerk from the high school judging me again.  Turns out, it was my neighbor.  If I hadn’t had my nose buried in my phone, I could’ve waved at her in a friendly manner instead of throwing my hands out in exasperation and shouting “What?!”  And for what?  Another Grammarly update saying that people on the internet will still correct you if you make a typo.

So, I’m calling it quits–for 30 days.  I want to WILL regain some of the depth to my most important relationships.  I want to WILL be present in my day to day interactions.  I want to WILL be more focused and productive at work.

 

I think that the hardest part of this challenge is that I am going to New York City in a few weeks.  There will be brand new experiences–sights, sounds, friends, and photos that I’m sure I’ll be tempted to immediately upload onto social media.  And selfies! Oh my goodness, the selfies.  The thing is, though, before social media, I actually cherished my photos.  I looked back on them, I printed them out, I scrap-booked them, and if you were a special friend, I’d print a copy for you too.  Maybe I’d even put it in a really cute frame.

Just imagine how much more vibrant my memories will be if I can actually live and experience them rather than ‘capturing them for posterity Facebook.’

I imagine that I’ll just be more cognizant of my choices, take fewer photos, live more of my life than I put on the internet.

 

Have you ever taken a hiatus from social media?  What did you take away from it?  

 

P.S. I still plan to blog during this time, so don’t expect radio silence after I *just* got back  ::wink::

 

Liam

I can hear boys whooping in the field down the way, and a myriad of birds singing their songs. I can hear the creak of toads, the barking of dogs, the rustle of a squirrel… The candles glow faintly in their lanterns and in this moment, I am happy.

When times are stressful, and I’m anxious, I think this needs to be my happy place. A way for me to self soothe without stuffing my face. 

I WAS anxious yesterday. I re-met a friend I had years ago. He fell off the grid after high school because his parents had kicked him out for being gay, and he was never in one place for very long. He drifted from friends house to friends house and we drifted further and further apart.  I always wondered what happened to him. It’s been ten years, but yesterday, I got to find out.

In a vain attempt to reconnect, I had sent him a connection request on linked in.  It was years ago, and I had given up hope. Last week, though, he accepted the connection. It had updated contact info, and I immediately reached out.  We set a date for coffee, strategically placed in between work and school. If it went well, we wouldn’t spoil every subject. If it didn’t, well, then I’d have to be going to school a little early.

My stomach tied itself in knots at the coffee shop counter.  On impulse, I ordered chocolate chip banana bread.  Chocolate chip.  Was he going to judge me as a corporate drone? Was I going to judge him as a loser? There were no answers, only chocolate.

Liam got there. He was the same as I remembered, but different, oh so different.  The close cropped brown hair that I remembered was now shoulder length, and blond, a stocking cap pulled down low.  His eyes were warm and brown, alight with recognition when he saw me.

There was the awkwardness of meeting a stranger, and he dithered over what to order before he just had them make whatever they were making for me.  We stood, not really wanting to start telling stories at the counter.  The way he talked and laughed was different; he was trying to hide the damage that drug use had done to his teeth.

When we sat at the table, he took his jacket off, revealing a black undershirt printed with barbed wire down the sleeves. He wore jeans, and a light, short sleeved plaid shirt.  As I summed him up, I also wondered how he was summing me up.  Was I still the same? What about my features has my experience changed? Do I look like a prep?

Then we sat down to talk, and we were in high school again, and this was my friend, through thick and thin.  He told me about his struggles and his redemption, and I told him briefly about my career and my marriage. Mostly I just listened.  I listened about the experiences he had after we lost touch, about getting in trouble with the authorities, and the road he’s been traveling.  I listened to him debunk a rumour that started about 7 years ago saying he had had a kid.  He’s still incredulous about that one.  The hour went by much too quickly and suddenly it was time to go. 

As we stood outside, spending a few minutes in our Minnesota goodbyes, I invited him to a barbeque.  I told him that I’d have to pick him up, because buses don’t come to my neighborhood.

“Oooh, you’re in the rich area now…”

I denied it so vehemently, even though he’s right.

That night, I was thinking through it again.  I plowed through a bag of cheddar ruffles, a monster cookie, and a Philly cheese steak sandwich before I came to my senses.  I decided finally that judging, and observing, are quite different things.  Just because I notice things like employment or imperfect teeth, doesn’t mean I use that information to form the whole impression.  The whole impression that I formed was that Liam was my friend, and although he’s been through a lot, he’s still someone I could easily befriend.  I sent him a message after class and let him know that I’d be interested in being friends.  Here’s hoping I’ll hear back.

Hope for Roy – Please reblog

I’m usually driving the chase car.  For a majority of my life, I’ve been around motorcycles and bikers.  I would beg and cajole my dad to take me for rides around the block, and (before laws became more strict, or maybe he just didn’t follow them) he would sit me on his lap right by the tank of his Goldwing and take me for a ride.  I remember when I was finally big enough to reach the pegs and we went for our first ride that actually had some distance–there was ice cream involved.

Fast forward to adult-hood and I’ve been an active supporter of Motorcycle Rights.  I’ve lobbied at the state capitol, met with senators and congressmen to urge them to increase penalties for failure-to-yield the right of way/careless driving.  It’s not right that a person who knocks down a stop-sign has the same penalties as a person who hits and seriously injures or kills a pedestrian, cyclist, or motorcyclist.

It is in this vein, then, that I ask for your help.  I am not asking you to lobby, I’m bringing the reality home.  A friend of a friend, Roy Rennhack, recently passed away due to injuries sustained in an accident caused by a failure to yield the right of way.

Rothschild Police Sergeant Kevin Ostrowski confirmed the crash happened at about 7:10 p.m. According to the preliminary investigation, Roy Rennhack, 26, was driving on Highway 51 at the intersection of Imperial Avenue when a pickup truck driven by a 17-year-old turned left in front of the motorcycle. Rennhack was taken to Aspirus Wausau Hospital with critical injuries, authorities said.

Police said Rennhack was wearing a helmet. No citations have been issued and the crash remains under investigation.

Roy was air-lifted to a nearby trauma center where he remained in critical condition.  He was admitted to the intensive care unit, and stayed in a medically-induced coma in an attempt to help him heal.  He lost the fight, though, and passed away on October 15th.

There are two ways that you can help the Rennhack family, and friends of Roy, cope with this tragedy–this senseless loss.  If you are of the generous type, please donate to Hope for Roy.  The family will be buried under medical bills for a long time to come.  It’s enough of a tragedy to lose the one you love, but the hardship is compounded when the rest of your life may be lost under medical debt.

If you are the generous type, but cannot afford to donate at this time, that’s okay, too.  Please re-blog this post, please share the news with your friends and family.  Perhaps it will be read by someone with the ability and the generosity to make a dent in the medical bills.

Please also share this as a reminder to all to pay attention when you are driving.  A motorcycle is smaller than other vehicles and so it’s easy to misjudge the speed or distance.  Always look twice, and wait it out.  Make sure you know what a motorcyclist is doing before you do what you’re doing.  Share the road. Like they always say, it’s better to show up late than never–the only difference that waiting a few seconds is going to make is that it can avoid an accident, and everyone can get to where they’re going safely.

Writers Block/blog

Oi ladies and gents.. I have writer’s block.

I have lots of blog fodder just waiting to get off of my phone but every time I sit down to try to write, nothing worthwhile comes to mind.  I think I’ll just pick a photo from my phone and write about that… here.. listen to this song while you wait (don’t worry, it’s squeaky clean):

The new title of the entry you are about to read is “Sushi: with friends“

Jeff and I have a friend that was talented and studious enough (note: I didn’t say lucky, she worked her bum off) to get into TSU in Japan.  She’s been stateside for a couple of months and completely absorbed with visiting family and friends, attending weddings, barbeques, and doing all of the things that one does when visiting home in between living as an expat.

I invited her to meet up with me at a craft store as it is a common interest that we share, but due to a mix up with a friend’s wedding plans, she wasn’t able to make it.  That’s okay, though, c’est la vie, and we rescheduled for dinner on Tuesday. 

When I checked in with her the day of our event, unfortunately, something else came up again — this time with family in a not so good way and she had to cancel.  No rain check this time.  Maybe it’s because we were going to have sushi and she would soon be going  back to the land of sushi.  Maybe we should have invited her out to a burger. 

Oh well.  We didn’t make what was on our menu for dinner because we thought we were going out, and so Jeff and I headed out without our friend.  We went to a great newish restaurant in the area called “Kona Grill” 

Originally, I had gone to Kona with a friend from work who had made the drive to the home office from Iowa.  She was going to go by herself but she said “sushi” and “awesome” and “by myself” all in the same sentence and so I knew that someone would have to intervene… and go eat awesome sushi with her.  We had a great meal and I knew that I’d have to come back and introduce other people to this new local delight.  Jeff and I got a table in the bar since there was no wait and just enjoyed each other’s company.  We didn’t have a lot to talk about, so we shared stuff with each other on our phones.  At one point, our heads were leaning against each other as we looked at something (it was quite loud, so this also helped us to hear each other’s comments without yelling) and the waitress appeared out of thin air and commented “Awe, could you be more cute?”  We tried to cut the PDA a little bit after that.. *sheepish grin*

The meal that Jeff and I had was even better than the first time I had gone to Kona.  Jeff and I both ordered a Dragon Roll [crab special roll topped w/eel, eel sauce & sesame seeds], I ordered a Philly Roll (it’s Americanized…) [smoked salmon, cream cheese & cucumber], and Jeff ordered a Bama Roll [crab mix, cream cheese, jalapeño wrapped in soy paper topped w/tuna, avocado, fish roe and spicy mayo].  One roll is probably enough for anyone, but I was looking for left overs 🙂 I was able to save more than half of what we ordered. It’s a good thing I saved room, too, because their seasonal item was a pineapple upside down cake–it was a dessert to redeem the evening:

 

Feeling so lucky!

My goodness… Out of respect for my friend’s privacy, I’ll not be posting photos here, but I am seriously on cloud nine after visiting my good friend and her new baby.  She is so happy and her baby is so bubbly… I just couldn’t be happier for them 🙂 I love her system of baby care, too!  The table in her living room is all set up with a station for warming the wipes, a pile of cloth diapers at-the-ready, a wicker basket of extra diaper covers, etc.  and on the other side of the couch–a lined hamper to keep the soiled cloth diapers in.  The fabric burp cloth that she has is embellished with a fabric with a ‘monsters’ cartoon theme to it that just adds to the child-like whimsy.  AH! Love.

*Ahem*

Please excuse my reverie 😉

Besides having awesome friends, I also feel very lucky to be getting back into personal training.  Raise your hand if you remember me talking about the Warrior Dash… anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Yeah, me too.  I kept telling myself that it was so far away and that I still had time, but here we are on the cusp of summer and the dash is just 4 weeks away.  I will be the first to admit that I. Am. Not. Ready.  Oi.  I am waffling about whether or not to even go, but I think that I just need to solidify in my mind that it is an event, and my life–both fitness and non-fitness related–with go on regardless of my performance.  Besides, the whole point is that it’s a *party* with an obstacle course thrown in.  I am sure I will psych myself up for it before the big day comes 🙂

Yesterday was day one of personal training with Emily, my new trainer.  Ramon is still a great friend and fitness trainer, but I got burned out.  I think that Emily just might get where I’m coming from and I feel like she can help me get to where I want to go.  She is big into form and function and so my first session was just getting the basics down so that she could see how I move.  We did things like Farmer’s Carry/Walk, static lunges, over-head presses, cable pulls, and squats.  The thing that I liked the most is that the warm up involved flexing muscles and moving joints that would actually be challenged in the strength training workout.  I have had injuries in the past, and she kept that in mind during the warm up and paid special attention to making sure that my previously-damaged-joints were limber and ready to work.

I think the thing that I am most excited about is that my session with Emily was spur-of-the-moment and inspired Jeff to start personal training too.  I didn’t have my workout clothes with me when I talked to her in the afternoon, but I was able to call Jeff and ask him to bring them to me.  Taking the opportunity for himself, he chatted with Emily about setting up some personal training for himself.  She is on the ball and didn’t waste any time.  I had talked to her at about 1pm that afternoon and she had a goal sheet and routine ready for me by 5:30pm.  Jeff talked to her at 5:30pm and she had a goal sheet and routine ready for him by 9:30am this morning.  Now, since she is officially training both of us, she put together a couple’s work out that we may be able to try this weekend.

I am really excited ❤