This week’s menu, Shopping list, FTGGD Q&A

I actually got the grocery shopping done on Monday – picked up a variety of items including asparagus, cucumbers, kiwi, dole fruit cups (in 100% juice!), etc. etc.

The best buy of the day was a pork loin – regular price $36.91 sold for $18.50.  It was huge!  Ginormous!  When I got home I used 2/3 of it to slice into 10 1/2″ thick pork chops, and the last 1/3 for pulled pork sandwiches for dinner last night.  Excellent use of the money.

This week’s menu included:

MONDAY: Grilled Chicken Sandwiches (grill chicken in a skillet with salt/pepper/garlic, sandwich between two pieces of toast with selected fixings such as lettuce, tomato, avocado, cheese, etc.)

TUESDAY: Pulled Pork Sandwiches (Slow cooker recipe – boneless pork loin + worcestershire sauce, lime juice, salt/pepper/garlic low and slow for 10 hrs.  Shred and top with BBQ sauce, served with Rosemary Potatoes)

WEDNESDAY: was supposed to be Ham with Pineapple and Cloves but will be the Birds Eye brand 1-skillet meal instead.

THURSDAY: Cauliflower Mac n Cheese with Asparagus and Chicken

FRIDAY: Beef Bourguignon (made by Mike)

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Food: The Good Girl's DrugAnd now for an entry from Food: The Good Girl’s Drug:

“What is your weight and body history?  Did you yo-yo like Amanda and I did?  Are you slim but don’t feel that way like  Kendra, or do you struggle with being overweight or obese like Sarah?”

My weight and body history is probably similar to a lot of girls’ weight and body history.  For the longest time, I never noticed my weight.  It didn’t become a real problem until High School when I would look at photos and really realize how fat I had actually become.  It is terrible how many pictures I have destroyed because I was just disgusted with myself.  Obviously this had an influence on my self-esteem as well.  I got into a negative spiral where I would beat myself up for looking the way that I did and I cast blame in all directions–it was my parents fault for having a clean-plate rule.  It was society’s fault for not being able to congregate or celebrate without focusing on food.  It was my fault for not knowing how to cook or make healthier choices.  This went on for a couple years and I continued to gain weight and loathe myself for it.   Hate was a powerful motivator to start making healthier choices.  So far I have lost 35-40 lbs, but I’m stuck.  And I’m on a slippery slope right now and backsliding fast.

Did you relate to any of the eating disorder descriptions in this chapter such as EDNOS or BED?  How or why?

I do.  EDNOS – Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified is basically an umbrella term to cover any sort of disordered eating, because not everyone presents in the same way.  In my case, I am an emotional eater.  I feel that my emotional tie to foods is what has put me on this slippery slope and likewise caused me to backslide in my fitness routine.  When I am stressed out, it is like I am a robot out of control and I will reach for snacks, treats, candies, etc.  I don’t even focus on what I’m eating, I just use it as a distraction to take the edge off when I’m particularly frazzled.  I eat before bed at night to wind down from a long day.  I eat to celebrate life’s milestones.  The phrase Comfort Food didn’t come out of nowhere… That’s where I’m at today, and it’s not so much the fact that I eat based on triggers that identifies me with the EDNOS definition, but the fact that I feel out of control while doing so, and ashamed/guilty during/after the fact–but those feelings of guilt and shame aren’t enough to make me avoid doing it again the next time.

A few times in the past when I would over eat (intentionally or accidentally) I tried to ‘correct’ the mistake by getting rid of the extra.  It worked and I knew exactly what to do to trigger an expulsion of the food that I should not have eaten.  This method disgusted me, though, and made me feel worse that I did when it was “just” over-eating.  Now the only time I feel the urge to do this is when I get anxious or panicked over the type or amounts of food that I have eaten.

Do you think that you are an emotional overeater or binge eater?  What terms would you use to describe your issues with food?

I have already addressed these questions as above–I find that I am an emotional eater/overeater.  Food frequently causes me stress/anxiety but is also sought to provide stress relief/comfort.  It’s really conflicting.

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